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Wed, Feb. 15th, 2006, 09:14 pm

Facts of female anatomy for the male sex story writer

I've been reading online smut for over a decade now, and I've seen some remarkable anatomical misapprehensions in my day. I've decided to address a few of them for the record. Feel free to suggest stuff I should add.

Bra Sizing:


If a bra is sized at, say, 34C, only the letter describes the cup size. The wearer of that bra (if it fits) is a C cup. The number describes the circumference of her ribcage just below her breasts. Thus your 44DD-wearing ingenue has a 44 inch chest excluding her breasts.. Not that there's anything wrong with that, you understand. I just thought you should know.

Nipples:


Men who don't understand how nipples work remind me of the substantial percentage of the population that believes that the moon is never visible during the day. They've managed to preserve illusions while the facts were staring them in the face. Here, try a little experiment for me. Go get an ice cube, pull your shirt up under your arms, and rub the ice on one of your nipples.

Go ahead--try it. I won't tell anyone you did it.

You will probably notice the following phenomena:

1) The nipple gets firmer and more prominent. It increases little or not at all in volume.

2) The areole (that's the dark surrounding skin, and, yeah, I had to check the spelling) shrinks, roughens, and darkens a little.

3) You don't immediately get wildly turned on (It's okay if you do; you're just kind of atypical)

Congratulations! You have now acquired some important and useful nipple data--To wit: 1) and 2) demonstrate that, although 'erect' and 'swollen' are reasonable synonyms with regard to cocks, they are not the same thing in describing nipples; and 3) demonstrates that nipple erection is independent of sexual arousal. You can be turned-on and not have erect nipples and you can have erect nipples and not be turned on.

Also, I'm trying to stick to anatomy and not delve into issues of style here, but unless you have an actual office supply fetish (not that there 's anything wrong with that if you do), could you please avoid the 'pencil erasers' analogy? I'm really tired of it.

The Cervix:


A penis (or anything else approaching that size) penetrating a cervix is very, very unlikely, and guaranteed to be very, very unpleasant for the woman. There's more to be said on that topic, but that's the main point.

Female Ejaculation:


I'm gonna tread lightly on this one, cause there's still a surprising amount of controversy on the topic. Female ejaculate is thin and generally clear. There is no necessary correlation between female ejaculation and orgasm. That is to say, most women who can ejaculate can also come without ejaculating, and some can ejaculate without coming.

Vaginal Tightness.


Cunts are not "worn out" or "used up" by frequent sex. Vaginal tightness is controlled by muscles. Exercise makes muscles stronger. If you jerk off a lot, does it make your hand unable to squeeze your dick?

Wed, Feb. 15th, 2006 06:51 pm (UTC)
sagittaria

As a possessor of female anatomy, I thank you for your public service.

Wed, Feb. 15th, 2006 06:53 pm (UTC)
vinnie_tesla

As an ardent fan of female anatomy, I remain dedicated to continuing my research into the topic.

Wed, Feb. 15th, 2006 07:05 pm (UTC)
mycrust

A penis (or anything else approaching that size) penetrating a cervix is very, very unlikely

Well except for, y'know, babies. But I really don't think that's what these authors have in mind.

Wed, Feb. 15th, 2006 07:06 pm (UTC)
vinnie_tesla

I could clarify with "from the outside"...
(Deleted comment)

Thu, Feb. 16th, 2006 11:03 am (UTC)
vinnie_tesla: Re: FYI

Aargh! That's what I get for not running the piece by a Real Live Woman before posting. How embarassing!
(Deleted comment)

Thu, Feb. 16th, 2006 11:38 am (UTC)
gary_jordan: If you jerk off a lot, does it make your hand unable to squeeze your dick?

Well, actually, yes!

Carpal Tunnel a.k.a. Repetative Motion Syndrome is so debillitating. (You did say, "a lot".)

Thu, Feb. 16th, 2006 11:41 am (UTC)
vinnie_tesla: Re: If you jerk off a lot, does it make your hand unable to squeeze your dick?

I considered mentioning that loophole, but since I've beeen trying dilligently to bring RSI on that way for over two decades, it didn't strike me as terribly likely.

Sat, Feb. 18th, 2006 07:22 pm (UTC)
newsfuck

Vinnie, I love you.

Though I continually fear the like-minded intrusion of botanists and biologists into the realm of tentacle sex; I do not want to know how unlikely it is for tentacles, whether flesh or flora, to do what needs to be done. In fact the pseudo-science that ardent tentacle-sex authors pepper their prose with make the end result all the more delightful.

(But then I love gleefully retarded sci-fi with my porn; I think Spoonbender's piece about alien ships shielded by technology that ran on pussy juice was one of the silliest, hottest, and most enjoyable asstr reads I've ever come across. Wish I could remember what it was called...)

Sat, Feb. 18th, 2006 10:24 pm (UTC)
vinnie_tesla

You know, I actually do know a couple biologists who might have a thing or two to say on that....let me see if I can pique their interests...

I do actually recall the Spoonbender piece you're speaking of. IIRC, it didn't grab me particularly, but that trope of the bank of girls impersonally pleasured certainly has its power over me. In particular, Brian Tarsis and Michael Manning's interpretations of it (in comics) had a big impact on the Tesla fantasy image library.

Tue, Feb. 21st, 2006 03:50 pm (UTC)
gardendoor

Bout bloody time someone spelled it out! Every time I read one of those stories where nipples are suddenly an inch long and twitching of their own accord, I wince...

Tue, Feb. 21st, 2006 03:50 pm (UTC)
callherblondie

This is so great. Talk about the epitome of a public service post. Thanks for writing it!

Tue, Feb. 21st, 2006 03:53 pm (UTC)
enismirdal

Your post WINS! Thank you. Especially the nipples bit. *bookmarks post for future reference when needing to refer people here*

Tue, Feb. 21st, 2006 04:49 pm (UTC)
voyeurkind

Funny, this is just the reason I tend not not to put too many technical details into my stories.

Thanks for the useful article.

Tue, Feb. 21st, 2006 06:26 pm (UTC)
vanillafluffy

Unless you have an actual office supply fetish (not that there 's anything wrong with that if you do), could you please avoid the 'pencil erasers' analogy?

LOL! Thank you. If mine ever turned that shade of pink I'd RUN to the doctor---hopefully that wouldn't exacerbate the problem....


Tue, Feb. 21st, 2006 06:33 pm (UTC)
ciarda_rois

Thank you so much. I have seen a fic with that and I cringed. Spread the word! Cervix banging is not sexy!

Wed, Jan. 24th, 2007 06:55 pm (UTC)
(Anonymous): The Cervix:

I'm not really anonymous, I'm cmsix, and I'm too lazy to register. I went throught hours of that yesterday trying to get a trial version of Office 2007 and the link was broke. Anyway.

I'm not long enough for original research, but it seems to me that anyone who is wouldn't be able to tell the difference even if they could penetrate the cervix. And, I feel like it is entirely possible for them to feel soemthing that they think is a penertarion of the cervix, or something. I am slightly familiar with not being able to know exactly what my penis is bumping up against in the dark and not being able to determine what it is touching by any tactile clues it seems it should give me, but doesn't really.

So, I'm inclined to think that one of the longer generation might be convinced he had penetrated a cervix, especially if he didn't know it was practically impossible to start with.

Now, if the work is being written in first person, don't you think it would be perfectly acceptable and even expected that the protagonist would expose his ignorance?

Since I don't consider first person to automatically involve an omniscient view, I think it is acceptable for the protagonist to believe, and mention, that he had penetrated a cervix wiht his organ grinder, in fact I think it is to be expected.

It seems to me that the controversy over this particular point fails to take into account that the protagonist are often not the brightest bulbs on the tree and that can't be bothered with facts when they know what they felt or when they report what they imagined happening as fact on the ground.

What say you, vinnie tesla

Wed, Jan. 24th, 2007 07:06 pm (UTC)
vinnie_tesla: Re: The Cervix:

I think 'organ grinder' would be a better euphemism for the vagina than the penis. That's what I think.

Can I imagine a thought-out, well-written story wherein the ill-informed narrator thinks,erroneously, that he has penetrated his partner's cervix? Sure. If you see such a story, please let me know.

Also: Welcome! Cool to see you here, Chess.
Re: The Cervix: - (Anonymous) - Expand
Re: The Cervix: - (Anonymous) - Expand
Re: The Cervix: - (Anonymous) - Expand
Re: The Cervix: - (Anonymous) - Expand

Thu, May. 10th, 2007 02:54 am (UTC)
(Anonymous)

Thank You.....

A Guy

Sat, Aug. 4th, 2007 01:10 pm (UTC)
(Anonymous): Your advisory for authors

Hey,

Thanks for this info. I'm not sure if my thinking is right that you may have 'pulled a boner' here, so I'll simply throw it out to you as a comment. I could be totally wrong, but I was under the impression that the word cum or cumming was an evolution of come. Thus I came and not cummed. Further, I believe that the term was probably created because the that the liquid (sperm/ejaculate) 'came' out of the person.

If that thinking is right, then your instruction on 'Female Ejaculation' might be faulty when you state that 'most women who can ejaculate can also come without ejaculating, and some can ejaculate without coming' because the two terms mean the same, no?

It's not necessary for you to respond here. I'm not looking for an argument/discussion. Only looking to help. If I'm wrong, sobeit.

BTW, you stated you checked the spelling for areole, and I'm sure you did. I'm guessing that you also checked the meaning. Still, I'm looking at Merriam Webster's Collegiate Dictionary 10th Edition and finding the following:

areole - a small pit or cavity.
areola - a colored ring (as about the nipple)

And even though I've looked it up a hundred times and know it should be areola, my brain is such a sieve that in most of my stories, my girls have aureole :)


Regards

Thu, Dec. 27th, 2007 11:26 pm (UTC)
(Anonymous): Re: Your advisory for authors

I don't know about that. Maybe I'm straining at a gnat here, but whenever I read that a person “comes” (or cums, whatever), I assume they’re having an orgasm. Male orgasms and ejaculation are almost always simultaneous. When I come, I don't usually ejaculate. My SO almost always ejaculates when she comes, but she never ejaculates when she doesn’t come.

Wed, Apr. 2nd, 2008 03:56 am (UTC)
(Anonymous): The big one you left out

All of these are, I expect useful both to male writers and to the unfortunate proportion of women who really have no idea what's going on in their bodies. (and I'd never thought to actually observe closely what happened with my nipples when I became aroused...just sort of absorbed the "swollen" thing unconsciously. You're right. :) However, it's a mystery to me how anyone, in writing a list of misconceptions about female sexual anatomy on the part of porn writers and forget to mention the single most widespread and annoying one, in my experience: the fervent belief that the hymen is located somewhere between an inch and half a cock-length up the vagina. It's not; it's around the entrance, between the lips (though it is about an inch, in many women, from the outside of the lips when closed...perhaps the widespread tendency to miscall a vagina a vulva is causing confusion on this point?).

Other than that, the weirdest incidents I've encountered were one in which a female character was complaining about being 5'5" and formerly wearing 149 lbs, and being happy about slimming down to 105 lbs because she "looked hot", and an incident in a cyber roleplay where I indicated that I was slipping my finger into my partner's ass and massaging his prostate, and he indicated that he was doing the same to me. I had to explain to him that girls don't have them. That was weird.

Wed, Apr. 2nd, 2008 04:16 am (UTC)
vinnie_tesla: Re: The big one you left out

An honest answer would be that I tend to skim deflowerment scenes. It's not that I don't get the appeal of innocence, but the particular sealed-for-your-protection angle that treats hymens as a fetish object tends to leave me cold.

I'm tempted to say that, further, stories that dwell on the recessed hymen tend to have so many ludicrousnesses (is that a word?) of characterization and circumstance that the hymen stuff pales by comparison. But honestly, once I start using that consideration, my whole list becomes suspect. And where are we then? Chaos, that's where!