Sun, Mar. 16th, 2014, 05:24 am
eroticmadsci: Commencement: Chapter Four, Page Thirteen
Sat, Mar. 15th, 2014, 11:58 pm
2.5 years ago:
Before I started at my current job, there was a minor ruckus about my position that I don't really know much about, but a result of it was that when I came on board, there was some ruckus about me in a small corner of the organization that didn't matter a whole lot to me. One woman in particular -- Cindy -- made it very clear right away that she didn't like me or the job I'd been hired to do, and she's the sort of person who takes a lot of pride in being harsh and "tell it like it is", so she was quite explicit in letting me know the ways that I was not up to snuff in her opinion, starting with my hair and continuing to my professional background as she knew it. Okay, fine, this is someone I have to deal with very infrequently (though not never), so, ok, I'll ignore all the bullshit and just do my job as professionally as possible around her. Which I do.
2 years ago:
Cindy had led an irrelevant campaign trying to prevent my promotion. I got promoted.
1 month ago:
Cindy said to Michele, who reports to me, that she'd like to move to supporting someone in our division. Michele says to Cindy, "Of course that would mean reporting to Rosa ..." and Cindy responds, "Well, that might not be so bad."
Someone I've never heard of emails me to ask if we can have lunch, saying Cindy suggested she contact me. Later that day, I run into Cindy and say, "Hey, your friend emailed me. We're gonna have lunch sometime!" Cindy says, "I've known her since she was born and she just started working here and she's having a real hard time finding people who are weird and interesting, and I told her she could reach out to you, that you know all the best weird people to know and that you could really help her. Thanks for taking her under your wing."
Sat, Mar. 15th, 2014, 08:34 pm
eroticmadsci: Tumblr favorite #629: Schematics
Sat, Mar. 15th, 2014, 05:15 pm
eros_blog: Why Rich Men Buy Boats
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Sat, Mar. 15th, 2014, 12:49 pm
eroticmadsci: Tumblr favorite #628: Fresh out of the box
Sat, Mar. 15th, 2014, 12:58 pm
virginia_fell: whites gonna white
TW: Game of Thrones is 40% good and 60% racist hilaribad
We've had convos in my journal before about racist Eurocentric fantasy and so I obviously knew what I was getting into with Game of Thrones but oh my god
nobody warned me about the "thank you" thing
"I do not know how to say thank you in Dothraki." "There is no word for thank you in Dothraki."
I mean aside from her clearly beginning the process of civilizing the hypersexual violent darkie savage with her magic white poontang of compassion and reason... can we just spend a minute and sit with THE DOTHRAKI DO NOT HAVE A WORD FOR THANK YOU
they do not have that
I like the female characters, and knew I would. It's just pretty clear that they're only for white people. ALSO I get the feeling that with all George RR Martin's ingenuity with tormenting his characters, the only misery he can think of for women is sexual violence just over and over and over. I keep wanting to get myself to a place of willful enjoyment, but all I can think about are the following two things:
1. It's pretty sad that fantasy boards that are blatant rip-offs of this setting and plot constitute progress in the land of Misogynist Whitelandia roleplaying. How fuckin' sad.
2. the dothraki do not have a word for thank you
Thank goodness for the Lannisters. I don't think I could deal with this without their smarmy behinds. No word for thank you. What the shit. halp
This entry was originally posted at http://xenologer.dreamwidth.org/107
Sat, Mar. 15th, 2014, 05:11 am
eroticmadsci: Commencement: Chapter Four, Page Twelve
Fri, Mar. 14th, 2014, 08:31 pm
eroticmadsci: Tumblr favorite #627: Tube girl supports our soldiers and sailors
Fri, Mar. 14th, 2014, 01:14 pm
gary_jordan: About that Diet...
Fri, Mar. 14th, 2014, 12:53 pm
aroraborealis: The freedom of being imperfect
Last year, I started watching the TV show "Scandal", which, for those of you who don't know it, is centered around a character named Olivia Pope. She's smart, incisive, capable, powerful, beautiful, kick-ass, outstandingly competent black woman who leads a team of brilliant and capable fuckups to ride in and save the day for people in need.
It was somewhere in Season 2 that I was starting to cotton onto one of the most powerful things about Olivia Pope: She's imperfect.
So often, women in pop culture are either hollow sex-objects without story or internal motivation of their own, or they are brilliant amazons who can do no wrong.
I didn't even realize the flawed-and-still-amazing female character (even more awesome for being black, which I think makes this complexity even more valuable) was a cultural archetype that I had been longing for until I found myself crying while watching an episode where Olivia makes yet another shitty personal decision while remaining smart and capable and competent and generally awesome.
Of course I know that perfection is a trap, and of course it's one that I still struggle with in myself. (Don't we all?) I've gotten beyond my fear of showing myself to be ignorant about some things, which opens up so many opportunities for learning, but it's still hard for me to engage with learning a new skill while I have an audience, and I hugely struggle with the pressure to live up to people's expectations of me in many realms.
Recently, someone commented to the effect of seeing me as not having a bad side, and it struck me how familiar that trap of being/being seen as generally awesome felt. It is simultaneously this extremely rewarding ego-stroke and frighteningly constraining. Everyone has to be allowed to have a bad side, to be human, and not have her whole identity tied to being good all the time.
I am awesome (and so are you!) and I feel awesome (and so should you!). But I'm not perfect (and neither are you), and I know it (and so should you), and I want everyone to know it both about me and about themselves, because that's part of knowing someone deeply and compassionately and possibly even lovingly, and because seeing that complexity in others helps us see it in ourselves, and it helps us let ourselves off the hook when our bad side is showing, or when we fuck up, or simply when we don't feel as lustrous as we might wish.
We are awesome not because of our good sides, but because of the whole of who we are. Often our weaknesses are also our strengths, or are so tightly bound up with our strengths as to be inseparable.
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