If you're interested in the craft of writing sex fiction, there's a question you'll encounter over and over: What is the difference between erotica and pornography? Let me lay it on the line: I think this is a stupid and pernicious question, and that any attempt to answer it that doesn't challenge its hidden assumptions produces broken answers that lead to sexually and artistically dishonest ways of looking at sex writing.


What sort of answers does the question generate? Google, as usual, knows all and tells all:

I think what makes the difference between porn and erotica is its beauty...porn
denigrates, while erotica enhances

the difference between porn and erotica is that porn sex doesnt seem to have any meaning and is generally a crude way to look at sex.

The difference between porn and erotica is something that lawyers cannot be
left to do, it needs to be done by women, for women, and for children too.

“Porn propels you to a physical climax, whereas erotica brings you to a literary climax, where what lies behind the sex is there—the mental climax,

the difference between porn and erotica is that the latter has better plots.

he difference between erotica and porn is that in
erotica, you show only a feather; in pornography, you show the whole chicken.

The difference between erotica and porn is the subtlety and artistry involved, and
if it is neither artistic no subtle then all it`ll do is put people off

And, of course, Gloria Leonard's famous "The difference between porn and erotica is the lighting."

The quote I found most appealing was from Gary Meyer, writing in the online magazine Clean Sheets. (I sent a story to Clean Sheets once. They rejected it because "we don't want a story that is only about sex; if 50% of the story is devoted to a sexual encounter, that's usually too much.") He wrote: "Erotica is apologetic; porn is pejorative."

There it is. Porn, say the accumulated quotes, is bad. It's nasty, filthy, and degrading. It's dirty. It's of the coarse body, rather than the noble spirit. That's hardly a novel insight, though. The genius in Meyers' quote is in the word "apologetic." Erotica, it implies, is all that nasty stuff that porn is, too. But overlaid on that is something else that makes it (mostly) okay. Rather than the ignoble pursuit of pleasure for its own sake, erotica offers Redeeming Social Importance, or Uplifting Spiritual Content. Or suitably discreet lighting, for that matter. You've fallen into the trap of those Catholic theologians I wrote about recently, to whom pleasure is okay, but only so long as you keep your mind fixed on something else throughout.

When you're fussing over this distinction, there's basically two possibilities. Number one is that your tastes in smut run to gentle deeds and vague descriptions. There's certainly nothing wrong with that, but then you're turning around and saying that people who favor different styles are incorrect--that what they like is "crude," that it "denigrates" its participants. You're holding tight to your martini while demanding stiffer penalties for the dope fiends down the street.

The other possibility is that some of the stuff you're condemning gets you hot, and you're ashamed of that fact. You're bowing down before your superego, when you should be inviting your id.

Brothers and sisters, I am here to tell you today that you should never be ashamed of your imagination. Some things are a good idea to actually do, some aren't. Some fantasies are aspirations, some are just fantasies. Scorn and intimidation are no substitute for good judgment.


Now, I'm not saying that distinctions of quality can't be made. Some writers are more skillful, some are more ambitious, some are more passionate. There's room for all of that. And, though I tend to avoid it myself, the word 'erotica' can reasonably used to describe the subgenre of pornography that strives to be gently lit. But to attempt to draw a bright line between 'good' sexual material on one side and 'bad' material on the other is to invite distrust of sexual pleasure into the very heart of where we should be embracing it.