Vinnie Tesla (vinnie_tesla) wrote,
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  • Music: Boynton/Ford--The Intermission Song

Book 22: Home of the Happy Penis

A friend who would probably wish to remain anonymous pointed me to Book 22 the other day. It's a Christian (read: conservative Evangelical) sex toy shop. At first, I was puzzled why such a specific cultural focus was called for. After all, the stuff they sell is just about all available on Good Vibes at similar prices. But then I realized that, likewise, most of Good Vibes' stock could also be found at and the like, along with one or two other categories GV has not yet seen fit to stock. People want to feel safe and catered-to, not like they're freaks to be buying what they want. And Book 22 does offer one concrete advantage for the sin-averse: no danger of accidentally seeing any naked people while browsing for sex toys.

"We avoid any objectionable wording or pictures in the line of products we offer" they tell you on their front page, and they labor mightily throughout the site to provide you with reassurance that you're not doing anything sinful by shopping there. Providing, of course, that you're married.  "It is our company's policy that the products we sell be purchased for married couples only." The vocabulary of the site is rather more Ladies Home Journal than Cosmo. "Intimacy" and "romance" are the most common words in the product descriptions. Occasionally they will go so far as "sensuality." Google finds no instances of the word 'sexy' anywhere on the site, though they do sell Happy Penis Massage Cream (available in  Cool Mint, Vanilla Cream, and Pina Colada) and Coochy Shave Creme.

I don't have much to say about their sections devoted to edible massage oils and romance-themed board games, but I will opine where my expertise is a little better.
  • Their condom selection is modest but well-chosen (though they could really use a non-latex offering).
  • I'm less impressed with the lube lineup, with seven out of nine offerings variations on the same brand (I-D).
  • They have an entire section devoted to jelly rings and their variants, which are basically sillicone cock rings, sometimes with an attached small clitoral vibe. I guess this heavy emphasis is because they're intended for use during PIV sex, unlike more conventional toys. Also to be found here are several phallic prostheses for the guy convinced that any discontent his wife is feeling must be because his dick is too small.
  • Apparently the word "aides" is considered less threatening than "vibrators." The reasons for this are obscure to me. Their vibe selection seems reasonable, with an eye to simplicity and avoiding anything remotely phallic.  The Aides section also throws in the kinkiest item Book 22 has for sale--a $6 satin eyemask.
Anything that vibrates in the previous two sections links prominently to The Marriage Bed Dot Com in its description. This proved to be an extensive site of evangelical sex advice, which was even more interesting, and which I shall treat on in my next post
Tags: links, rants, religion
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