Vinnie Tesla (vinnie_tesla) wrote,

Facts of female anatomy for the male sex story writer

I've been reading online smut for over a decade now, and I've seen some remarkable anatomical misapprehensions in my day. I've decided to address a few of them for the record. Feel free to suggest stuff I should add.

Bra Sizing:


If a bra is sized at, say, 34C, only the letter describes the cup size. The wearer of that bra (if it fits) is a C cup. The number describes the circumference of her ribcage just below her breasts. Thus your 44DD-wearing ingenue has a 44 inch chest excluding her breasts.. Not that there's anything wrong with that, you understand. I just thought you should know.

Nipples:


Men who don't understand how nipples work remind me of the substantial percentage of the population that believes that the moon is never visible during the day. They've managed to preserve illusions while the facts were staring them in the face. Here, try a little experiment for me. Go get an ice cube, pull your shirt up under your arms, and rub the ice on one of your nipples.

Go ahead--try it. I won't tell anyone you did it.

You will probably notice the following phenomena:

1) The nipple gets firmer and more prominent. It increases little or not at all in volume.

2) The areole (that's the dark surrounding skin, and, yeah, I had to check the spelling) shrinks, roughens, and darkens a little.

3) You don't immediately get wildly turned on (It's okay if you do; you're just kind of atypical)

Congratulations! You have now acquired some important and useful nipple data--To wit: 1) and 2) demonstrate that, although 'erect' and 'swollen' are reasonable synonyms with regard to cocks, they are not the same thing in describing nipples; and 3) demonstrates that nipple erection is independent of sexual arousal. You can be turned-on and not have erect nipples and you can have erect nipples and not be turned on.

Also, I'm trying to stick to anatomy and not delve into issues of style here, but unless you have an actual office supply fetish (not that there 's anything wrong with that if you do), could you please avoid the 'pencil erasers' analogy? I'm really tired of it.

The Cervix:


A penis (or anything else approaching that size) penetrating a cervix is very, very unlikely, and guaranteed to be very, very unpleasant for the woman. There's more to be said on that topic, but that's the main point.

Female Ejaculation:


I'm gonna tread lightly on this one, cause there's still a surprising amount of controversy on the topic. Female ejaculate is thin and generally clear. There is no necessary correlation between female ejaculation and orgasm. That is to say, most women who can ejaculate can also come without ejaculating, and some can ejaculate without coming.

Vaginal Tightness.


Cunts are not "worn out" or "used up" by frequent sex. Vaginal tightness is controlled by muscles. Exercise makes muscles stronger. If you jerk off a lot, does it make your hand unable to squeeze your dick?
Tags: rants, writing
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